IF THE DOORS ARE OPEN PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM CLOSED
IF THE DOORS ARE CLOSED PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM CLOSED
IF THE DOORS ARE OPEN PLEASE DO LEAVE THEM OPEN
IF THE DOORS ARE DOORS PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM CLOSED
IF THE DOORS ARE WINDOWS PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM AS DOORS
IF THE DOORS ARE WALLS PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM CLOSED
IF THE DOORS ARE WALLS PLEASE OPEN THEM
IF THE WINDOWS ARE DOORS PLEASE UNLOCK AND OPEN THEM
IF THE DOORS ARE DOORS PLEASE DO LEAVE THEM OPEN
IF WALLS COULD TALK WOULD DOORS HAVE EARS
IF EARS COULD TALK WHAT LANGUAGE WOULD THEY HEAR
AND IF A TIMES B EQUALS C SQUARED WHAT IS THE COSINE OF CUPIDITY
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